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Handing over the keys

My lease ended on my trailblazer yesterday. I drove to the dealer, handed over the keys and walked away. I’m not happy. I’m actually quite mad. Never in my life did I imagine that I would be in this position someday. I didn’t get to turn it in and lease something new. I didn’t turn it in knowing that in a few days or weeks we would look around and get something else. Nope. Just turned it in.

I’m not without transportation. We have a dump truck for the business, a used F-250 that we bought last month for the business and a leased F-350 that we are getting raped on. Because the mowing season is under way, there are two trucks on the road at all times. This leaves a truck for me. The F-350. It’s leased and currently over miles. It’s dirty (it was used primarily for the business for the past 1 1/2 years). It’s huge. It’s loud (diesel). It’s not mine. It was purchased for my husband to drive. Now I’m driving it because I don’t have my own vehicle any more.

This is only one thorn in my side. There are many, many more. Stay tuned.

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Just me

Well, here I am. I have started this blog to vent my frustrations. Hey, don’t judge me. It’s cheaper than therapy.

You may be wondering why I named this blog “The American Dream is Killing Me”.

Everybody grows up and has a vision of what they want their life to be like in the future. What job will they have? Who will they marry? How many kids will they have? What neighborhood will they live in? What kind of vehicles will they drive? Most of these questions are answered early in childhood. Kids see what makes them happy, or what they imagine would make them happy and decide how they are going to live when they grow up.

I had my dreams. Grow up, marry my high school sweetheart, live in the town we grew up in. Enjoy the good life. Have 3 or 4 kids. Work for a good company, make a good living. I was blessed with the gift of intelligence, and my husband was blessed with physical strength, ambition, and communication skills. We make a good team. This should have been easy. We have wonderful parents, gradparents and siblings. From the outside looking in, we are the perfect family living the “american dream”. We are pretty good at keeping up appearances.

Somewhere along the way everything started falling apart. One by one. The pursuit of living the american dream is killing me a little chunk at a time.