Office drama

I’ve learned this morning that a co-worker of mine has had a self-awakening this week. Apparently, gossip has it that she has told her alcoholic, unemployed husband to hit the road. And she is handling it very well. She is tired from the first sleepless night without her partner, and yet she feels energized. As if a weight has been lifted off her shoulders.

I am proud of her. I wish i could give her a hug and say it’s going to be OK. But, she hasn’t told me anything directly and i don’t want her to think that we are gossiping about her. She’s had a pretty rough year+ with her husband being off work and apparently drinking his problems away. She’s better than that. She deserves better than that. And now that she knows it, she’s grabbed her destiny by the reigns and is taking control.

I think we can all learn a lesson from her. We all have choices in life. Realizing that we have choices and making the tough decisions isn’t always easy at the time, but the rewards are greater.

1 down

Okay – I did it! I went for my first walk. Well, obviously not my first walk. I’ve been walking for 26 years. I just went for the first walk of the new me. I’m turning over a new leaf. No more MOOOOOOlissa. The walk only lasted 2 1/2 songs, but since i’m at work, i think doing that 2x/day would be a good start. Ya?

Get moving!

Okay, so here’s the thing. I want to make an appointment with my fertility specialist, but i don’t want to because i haven’t lost any weight since the last time i was there. Plus, our financial situation is exactly stable. Do you think it’s possible that subconciously i’m afraid to lose weight becuase i might get pregnant and i’m not ready for that (financially)? Am i self-sabotaging my efforts?

On the other hand, maybe getting pregnant would kick hubby into the next gear. Don’t get me wrong. He works his ass off. He is successful in many ways. I’m just sad that the lack of rain over the past few weeks has chopped our sales nearly in half. Not only does that kabosh our future cash flow, now we need to play catch up or get some additional side work to cover the lack of income in those weeks. I’ve suggested to him that perhaps some training in a skilled trade may pay off when work is slow – like the winter. He brushed me off, but the idea has been planted.

Anyway, i’m straying off topic. Alright, i know. Quit whining and do something. I think i’ll go for a walk right now. Tonight, i’ll fix a healthy dinner and go for another walk. I’m so out of shape. I know i’ll feel better once i start working out. I just need the kick in the booty to do it!

Keep your eye on the ball

This weekend we celebrated my father in law’s birthday. And of course my SIL was there with her newborn. I caught my husband watching me a few times while i was holding the baby. Later at home he mentioned in not so many words that he wants me to go back to the doctor and “get my pipes fixed”.

The problem is this: i need to lose at least 20 lbs before i can get pregnant. Why is this so freakin hard for me? I WANT to have a baby. I WANT to lose weight. Why can’t i get it in gear and commit to this? Why is my head working against me? What can i do to get my head in the game?

Goals

Everybody needs goals, right? It gives you something to look forward to and work for. The feelings of accomplishment are priceless and motivates you to continue to improve yourself in other areas. I’ve had three goals for a long time now( maybe a year?), but have not made much progress towards them. These are my long term goals:

Lose 50 lbs.

Pay off all debts

Get pregnant

I have lost maybe 5 lbs. Not good, but better than gaining. After reviewing my financial records, we have paid down $7,500 in debt. Although that may sound great, we still have $64,000 to go. And finally, there’s no chance in heck that i’m going to get pregnant unless i make significant (at least 75%) progress towards the first two goals.

So this is what i’m thinking. I need to set more specific short term goals and propose a plan for each.

Lose 50 lbs. Let’s say 5 lbs. for now. Start walking on the treadmill for 10 minutes a day for the first week. EVERY DAY.

Pay off all debts. Let’s pick one credit card and put all “extra” money towards it. Since we don’t have any “extra” money, this is a reasonable goal.

Okay, ready? Here we go. You’ll never be who you want to be if you continue to do the things you have always done. So, here’s to becoming the person i want to be.

Curse or blessing in disguise?

So, as you know, my workplace is suffering from slow business. No new programs are on the horizon. Sales group sucks at life. Then i come to work this morning and this is my daily horoscope: 

July 16, 2007
Your current work structure is crumbling down. The fabric is tearing apart. Let it fall. You may be the one support beam that is holding everything together. It is not your responsibility to bear that much weight. Let it fall and embrace something new.

Hmmmmmm….. Guess i better get serious about getting in shape. My resume has already been updated. I just need to work up some courage and grow some balls to get out there and shop for the perfect job. This week’s goal: 5 lbs.

Wish me luck!

It’s Friday at last!

It’s Friday at last! It’s Friday at last! Thank God almighty, it’s Friday at last!!

Okay, so that sounds a little corny, but i am sooooo happy that it’s Friday! One last day of work, and i can sleep in tomorrow (for a little bit at least). It has been a week from H-E-double hockey sticks. I have been trying to launch a new program all week and nothing has been going right. My suppliers are not being very cooperative.

Anyway, we went out with some friends last night and had agreat time. We didn’t get home until after midnight, so i grabbed a few monster’s on my way to work to help get me through the day. Even though i have a lot to do today, i’m confident that everything will get crossed off my list so that i can have a thoughtless weekend.

On another note, i’ve been contemplating a career change lately. Or at least a change in scenery. I’m not sure. All i know is that i’m not being challenged enough where i’m at. I feel as though i’ve climbed the rope to the top where i’m at and it’s time to conquer a new course. The problem, of course, is that i don’t really have anything in mind and even if i did, i’m too chickens**t to act on it. I need to build up my self-confidence. So, i think the first order of business is to get back to my fighting weight.

 Job #1: Lose weight and get in shape

Job#2: TBD