Argh!!!

So it’s been a while since my last post. I’m happy to report that hubby’s grandpa is still with us. In fact, he started chemo this past week. He’s exceptionally tired and has lost his apetite, but he’s fighting with all he’s got. I’m so proud of him.

Last night i talked to hubby. This is the 2nd month in a row without ovulation. He’s getting impatient. He wants a little one before anything happens to his grandpa. I do too. My original goal (back in March) was to be pregnant before my birthday. Well, tick tock, tick tock – time’s almost up! I have been faithfully taking my medication and recording my basal temperature every day. Today i faxed my basal temp chart to my fertility doc to see what she can do. Hopefully she can up the dosage or waive her magic wand or click her heels three times or just do something to make this happen!

Maybe some of this is my fault. I fell off the diet/exercise bandwagon and must have hit my head pretty hard on the way down because I have completely abandoned my plan for the past 2-3 months. I can’t do anything about that lost time, but today i’m starting all over again. I went to McD’s at lunch and got myself a bacon ranch salad and an ice water. Not sure what i’m going to do for dinner yet. I need to dust off the low-carb cookbook and start making things ahead of time.

WHY WHY WHY can’t i stick to low carb? I need to, must do this for not just myself, but my family – and most importantly – my future family. This is one demon i’m having a hell of a time overcoming. Pardon the pun.

Okay. Today is day one (again). This time i CAN NOT FAIL. Lord – please don’t let me let myself down again. Please keep me strong.

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