It’s pretty evident my life sucks. I can’t do ANYTHING right. I have no close friends. My husband hates me. I can’t find a job. I can’t lose weight. I can’t even reproduce. It’s pretty sad when even God thinks you suck so bad that He doesn’t want you to carry on His creation. What else can i say? What else is there to say. My life has no purpose. There is no reason for me to be here. That’s pretty obvious. So, now what do i do? Should i leave and travel aimlessly until i find what i was put on this earth for? Do i stay and tell myself these feelings will pass? i’m sick of being worthless.
Published by theamericandream
Here I am. Just a silly country girl who thought she knew it all. Got married when I was 21 to my high school sweetheart. Was living the "american dream" until about a year or so ago when everything just started unraveling. From the outside looking in, we are perfect. We have a beautiful home in the country, our wonderful family lives as close as next door and as far away as 7 miles. Our family is very close. We have strict morals and values that are indisputable. Our families are very involved in the church and the community. We drive nice vehicles and have good jobs. In fact, my husband owns his own company. But, nobody knows. Nobody knows the pain of not being able to conceive our long-awaited first child. Nobody knows the pain of going to fertility specialists and getting tests and tests and tests and not getting answers. Nobody knows the grief of never getting two pink lines at the end of the month. Nobody understands the need to distract that pain with "things" and food and working. Nobody knows the consequences of covering our pain and the mountains of debt and debilitating physical health we've incurred. Nobody knows. View all posts by theamericandream