are you fucking kidding me?

Even my mother is against me. She calls me tonight. Actually, she called like 8 times, but i didn’t answer. You ever have those feelings in the pit of your stomach that you know who it is on the other end of the line and you just don’t have the muster to talk to them cuz you know what kind of poison it is? Anyway, she calls like 8 times, but never leaves a message. WTF?

So, eventually i decide to answer the phone because i know she’ll start calling my cell phone. (she’s very persistent). Anyway, she starts off the conversation oh, how’s work? What the hell? Obviously not good since we  permanently closed the doors. Here’s your sign.

So i go on to tell her that i went to the unemployment office yesterday and immediately she cuts in. how was it? how were the lines? was it packed? No, mom, don’t believe everything you see on the telly. We live in a small town in a small county. What you see on the news is in the BIG city – you know, where we DON’T live? Argh!!!!!!!!!!

Anyway, i try to tell her that the state offers a program for displaced workers whose companies closed down permanently, amongst other things. Again, before i get a chance to go any farther, she cuts me off. That’s so stupid she says, do you know who pays for that? The taxpayers! Okay, now i’m starting to get pissed. Really, mom? The taxpayers? No shit? When was the last time you paid any taxes out of your paycheck? Oh, wait, that’s right. You haven’t worked in 30 years! But, i let her ramble.

Well, i was thinking i would take advantage of that program, i tell her. For what? She asks. I tell her i want to be a financial adviser. She laughs. She actually FUCKING laughed at me. In this economy? she says. Yes, i’ve actually been thinking about it a long time and now i have an opportunity to pursue this dream of mine. It’s actually a job sector that is expected to grow 15% in the next 3 years. I’m thinking this should set her straight, right? Wrong. She starts grilling me. Well, how long does it take, what classes do you need, how will you live on unemployment? I’m not in the mood for interrogation. Fortunately, my little brother cuts her off and reminds her that he’s supposed to be somewhere right now. She has to go.

That’s too bad.

Don’t worry, when she got home like 10 minutes later, she tried calling me back. 3 times.

Do you ever have those days when you’re just not in the mood for that old familiar poison?

Me too…

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